Sunday, February 15, 2009

My Funny Valentine ~ An "Indecent" Proposal

(my 2009 Valentine Roses)

Ray and I first met, via a Christian online dating service in April of 1999. He was a widower with 3 children, aged 17, 15 and 11. I was divorced with 4 children aged 20, 17, 15 and 2 at the time.

By the following February, things were going great with us, and Ray was always hinting about us tying the knot. The day before Valentine's day, he was very STRONGLY hinting about it...so I figured he was going to ask me on that special day of love. I think he may have been planning to, however, his son Dan was 16 by then, and wanted to take his girlfriend out on a date too. The only thing is, the girlfriend's parents required them to have chaperones along. I actually think that's a good idea, but I wasn't really thrilled about being one of them. After all, this was OUR first Valentine's Day together too. We ended up going on a "double date" with a couple of sixteen year olds. We went to a movie called, "Down to You", which didn't have much of a plot, and bored me to tears. I don't know that I was really watching it anyway, mostly I was trying to figure out how we could be alone at some point, so he could propose to me.

After the movie, we went to a Chinese restaurant. I was hoping we would at least sit at separate tables, after all...if we could see them, we were still doing our job as chaperones, right? We all sat together, and had an enjoyable meal...but I was still waiting for him to pop the question. Eventually, we dropped the girlfriend off at her house, and went back to Ray's. I lived about 30 miles away from him at the time, and his daughter Ruth, (who was 12 by then), had been babysitting my Molly (who was now 3 years old), at their house. Little Molly was fast asleep by the time we got home, and I really didn't want to wake her. Besides, I was tired and had to work early the next morning. I decided to stay there and drive the 30 mile trip to work in the morning.

As I tried to go to sleep that night, I got more and more angry that Ray had built me up, with all the hinting...and then let me down by not actually asking. So by morning, (exactly 9 years ago today), I let him have it with both barrels! I told him exactly how I felt...while I was getting myself ready for work. I was in the bathroom, (with the door open), putting on my make-up yelling at him in the next room. After a little while, he came in to the bathroom, stood behind me and said, "So...do you want to marry me...or what?" How romantic. My first inclination was to say no, just because I didn't want to remember this as the way we got engaged. Would you? But then I figured, I'd gotten to know this man over the past 10 months or so and had learned that he could be pretty stubborn at times. So after a moment's hesitation...I said yes. We thought it would be cool to be married in the year 2000, so we planned a wedding for the end of September that year.

Ray later explained to me that he had wanted to get me a ring, and was trying to come up with some elaborate plan...like taking me out to sing karaoke, (which we enjoyed doing together), singing me a love song and then getting down on one knee and proposing. Unfortunately, he didn't have the money for a ring, and with the whole double date thing and all...it just didn't work out. I was really hoping he would at least ask me decently when he got the ring, but I never did get a decent proposal out of him. Oh well.

I can't say that we have a perfect marriage...no one does, but we have figured out that we are perfect for each other...and that's all that counts.

3 comments:

Sarah said...

Things don't always go as planned. I agree, though...you and Ray are perfect for each other! Happy Anniversary!

Joyful Noise said...

Just think - you wouldn't have the fun story to tell though - or your own "day after valentine's" holiday to celebrate. :)

Qtpies7 said...

I agree, you are perfect for each other.

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